[Student Profile]
[Prompt & Essay]
The lessons we take from obstacles we encounter can be fundamental to later success. Recount a time when you faced a challenge, setback, or failure. How did it affect you, and what did you learn from the experience?
Sitting in the car with a stomach ache, knees bouncing and hands clenched, my head races with thoughts of what can go wrong. "What if my mind blanks? What if I mess up?" I am petrified to fail, and as we pull into the parking lot, I try to take deep breaths and focus. "I practiced; I won’t be sick or hurt if I mess up. It will be okay," I reassure myself, yet fear laced adrenaline continues to pump through my veins as I walk into the building, palms sweating, and my body riddled with fear. Sitting down at the piano, I reveal the keys and play my piece without fail in front of my friends and family, as my anxiety fades away.
This same sickening feeling echoes through my life daily. Meeting new people, falling asleep, going into a store alone resonate with the same social anxiety. My sources of stress exist without logical reason. As a child, I struggled to sleep; my mind incessantly wandered to irrational imaginings of being kidnapped in the middle of the night. My symptoms only aggravated with age. In eighth grade, I found myself crying and shaking in the middle of class. No apparent reason floated to the surface of my mind—just all consuming fear.
Seeking help was terrifying as it evoked the same social anxiety that brought on my fear. I began by talking to my parents, who brought me to my pediatrician. When I explained how I felt, she helped me understand my excess of emotions could be controlled and my feelings were normal. As I started talking about my symptoms with people I trust, I realized just how much my anxiety affected my ability to function. I learned to cope with my fears through techniques including deep breathing, focusing on other things, and reaching out to my family. Slowly but surely, I began tiptoeing outside of my comfort zone to engage with my community. The support with which I was embraced gave me the confidence to start taking risks.
The first came with a tryout for the field hockey team in 2017. Over the course of the next few months, I grew so much closer with the girls I went to school with. Though I was new to this community, sharing our long, tiring practices and games brought me and my teammates together. Sports became an outlet where I could escape. The welcoming atmosphere of my newfound family showed me that trying new things could be something to look forward to rather than hide from. As my confidence grew, I ventured outside of my protective bubble to discover new passions: percussion, Model UN, and swimming.
I also stepped up as Blood Drive Coordinator of the Red Cross Club and began volunteering at an organization for domestic abuse victims. This passion for service, alongside my own mental health journey, uniquely shaped my desire to become a pediatrician or pediatric surgeon. When I struggled with my mental health, my pediatrician showed me how my mind worked, helping me feel less alone. Speaking from experience, I hope to support children as they learn how to cope with physical and emotional pain. Pediatric medicine will allow me to “pay it forward”, showing others the same kindness and understanding I received.
As my junior year ended, I realized just how much I grew. I stand in front of a club, this time as a leader. I am no longer bound to silence by a racing heart or heavy breathing. I speak clearly without the shadows of fear and doubt constantly looming. The outlets I found within my community helped me to feel better and still provide stability for me now. I escaped the invisible bubble of anxiety, finding strength as a confident and selfless member of my community.