Empowerly

Student profile

Reflect on a time when you questioned or challenged a belief or idea. What prompted your thinking? What was the outcome? 

Word Count 631/650

As a child I never truly understood the concept behind sexuality. Whenever my dad asked me what kind of girl I wanted to marry, I always posed the question, “Why should a boy spend his life with a girl?” For some reason, the idea of a man and a woman falling in love, getting married, and having kids seemed too cliche. This question continued to haunt me throughout my childhood, until I discovered differing sexuality. 

I have always been enamored by tough questions until I found answers to them, and this instance was no different. When I realized I was gay at age 14, my membership in the LGBT+ community changed my world view. I felt as if I was trapped in a society I didn’t understand or belong in. I saw my sexuality as something contemptible and abnormal. But as I grew older, I remembered the question I thought about as a child. It opened up a train of thought that helped create a new sense of self-understanding.

After I began developing my identity and finding my place in the LGBT+ community, I started encouraging myself to attend all sorts of events, the largest being San Francisco Pride. The amount of love and positivity spread gave me a sense of belonging. I felt as if I found a family that accepted me, one that loved me even though I was different. Many of the people can relate with me on a level that no one else can. By talking to them, I learned to appreciate the goodness in one’s identity. Many of these older role models helped me see the good in my sexuality and I stopped viewing it as something contemptible.

However, an incident in the city nearly destroyed my self-confidence and surviving it was the strongest pillar in discovering my role in the LGBT+ community. I was walking down Market Street with another boy, hand in hand. After being violently shoved apart, we were pushed onto the ground. I vividly remember the burning pain from my knee coming into contact with the pavement just as much as  the man’s voice before us shouting incoherent phrases. All I could understand were a few words here and there: “worthless,” “damaged,” “faggot.” I can still picture my friend sobbing on the ground while the man marched away with his chest held high, as if he had done something righteous. I was taken aback by the type of hate this man held for me, a person he had never even met. His pure abhorrence for LGBT+ people was hurtful. However, this showed me a point of view I previously thought to be a myth. It became one of the founding blocks of my belief in spreading positivity and acceptance to help unite the world in love rather than hate. 

I aspire to shield others from the same bigotry I experienced by encouraging the message of love to as many people possible. This style of thinking helped me to become self-aware about my identity and the type of person I strive to be. I want to be someone that can help people out of the darkness that I faced for so many years.

When I see the scar on my knee, I still think back to that disheartening day and shudder at the thought that this type of violence still happens to us, just for existing. But it also reminds me of my journey into self-discovery. I finally understand the true meaning of the LGBT+ community. It is more than just a group of people that have a defined set of characteristics. It is a family of millions who have all faced the same challenges, but more importantly, it gives me a platform where what makes me different is what makes me special.