I find comfort in the certainty of math and science -- from first observation and hypothesis, to experimentation and conclusions, questions are asked and answered. Archimedes derived pi, Newton discovered gravity, and Carl Woese discovered a primary lineage: Archaea. With all these answers around me, how has this question's solution eluded me for so long: is it possible to win an argument against a 10 year old?


Learning to effectively deal with my younger cousin Jaylen is a drastically different exercise than trying to find solutions for a difficult problem set in my favorite subjects. This situation has helped me to learn that sometimes a problem doesn't have a definitive, rational, clear-cut solution. When Jaylen and I argue, I often try to reason with him. At other times, I insert my common sense and try to challenge him. And when none of those work, I throw up my hands.


Jaylen, the argument starter, came to live with us when he was about six years old. This created a major change in our home environment. Being the youngest child in the house to now being the middle child had a bigger impact on me than I had anticipated and forced more responsibilities upon me. Chronologically, we are five years apart and the last few years have been marked with the type of rivalry that is common among some brothers. The constant arguing really frustrated my mom. What's worse, she always seemed to take his side. I can hear her now, "I don't care who started it, I just want YOU to stop it." This comment never seemed fair to me.


At that point, if my home life was a word problem, the answer would be three unhappy people. I knew that there had to be a solution that made the situation better. Totaly unrelated to my "Jaylen dilemma", my mom suggested that I read a book she believed would be helpful with an upcoming school project. The book is called, Think Like A Freak and the content was extremely helpful in my completion of my school assignment. One of the initial chapters discusses "the root of a problem". I didn't immediately think of Jaylen when I read it. However, I was open to the idea that this thought process might be effective in other areas of my life. In the case of Jaylen, I realized he was more likely to argue when we were together with my friends. It soon hit me, that the root of the problem was that Jaylen desired my attention and in the presence of my friends, he didn't have it. The root of much of our friction was when I didn't give Jaylen the attention he desired. In this case, the solution could not be derived by mathematical or scientific formulas, however, it gave me a perspective that with knowledge and a deeper understanding of a situation, I can still have a significant impact on the outcome.


My ability to minimize the arguments between Jaylen and me was aided by my mom's pressure and the concepts discussed in the book. However, it was my receptiveness to my mom's persuasion and the book's advice that I believe were the ultimate game changers. I attribute my change in mindset from combative participant to inclusion artist to my transition from childhood to adulthood. I now have a practical solution to the question of whether or not it is possible to win an argument against a 10 year old. Despite this monumental accomplishment, I have not yet earned the right to be mentioned in the same company as Newton or the others, but I do have a lot to be proud of. Furthermore, the timing could not be better, as this is the first year Jaylen and I will carpool to school. As a responsible adult, I am committed to make these rides argument free.