Virtually all of Stanford’s undergraduates live on campus. Write a note to your future roommate that reveals something about you or that will help your roommate – and us – know you better.
I'm quite infamous, apparently. As divulged in the following article… Topping the list of this (school) year's most wanted outlaws again is TPHS senior Dory Fishie, juvenile at large with a record of offenses like overachieving. "I tell her every layout she needs to stop working so hard and go home," newspaper adviser Mia Smith said. "But she's still there at who-knows-when, editing pages in not just her Feature section but News and Sports as well. It's ridiculous."
According to reliable sources, Fishie is also regularly spotted as late as 9 p.m. in UCSD's Pacific Hall laboratories scribbling hazardous data in a lab book. While loyal friends refused to betray her whereabouts, neighbors are encouraged to watch for a short, bubbly figure lugging an oversized backpack and a Canon EOS Rebel. Never seen without a voluminous ponytail adorned by at least 3 fluorescent bands, Fishie will likely be clad in varying hues of blue. Known for a laugh resembling a D Major scale, Fishie does not, authorities warned, possess the stereotypical criminal appearance, as she always waxes an enduring smile and is fond of assisting peers in writing or calculus. "Seriously, people need to be careful; she looks so sweet, but she'll hit the highest note on the clarinet and blow your eardrums to shards," band director Amy Willcox said.
Indeed, Fishie tends to carry concealed weapons such as ink pens (to engage in lethal literary battles) and an army of post-its. As she is prone to prowl local streets on rollerblades, residents are advised to spread all driveways with sand or water to deter her escape. "There's only one way to catch her," former lab partner Jamie Li said. "Make a trap with a Steinway grand and an unlimited cache of Chopin impromptus. Or burnt cookies. She absolutely adores burnt cookies."
Stanford (prior to 2018), 28 Print
Created by: Julia de de Raadt
Modified on: Fri, 18 Mar, 2022 at 10:41 AM
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